Our water heater has broken. I’ve been too distracted with simultaneously boiling kettles and water pans to feel really angry about it. I returned from a trip away to find the electrics in the switch burnt out and as I’m still working on the best way to communicate this to my landlord through arm movements I’ve had to come up with an ingenius way of washing. Here it is...
PHASE A: Preparation
Step 1. Empty mop bucket of dirt residue.
Step 2. Heat a pan of tap water on the electric, while a kettle full of water is also boiled.
Step 3. Add both recepticles of boiling water to the empty mop bucket and continue to fill with cold water until the liquid reaches an appropriate washing temperature.
Step 4. Carefully place on the bathroom floor with a clean jam jar.
PHASE B: Washing
Step 5: With 1 jam jar of water, dampen your hair then lather with shampoo. Use 3 jam jars of water to rinse your hair.
Step 6: Use 2 jam jars of water to dampen your body then lather with shower gel or soap. Then, take each section of the body in turn (arm, arm, chest, torso, back, bum, groin, leg, leg, foot, foot) and rinse.
Step 7: Poor the remaining water from the bucket over your head and down your body in one final rinsing cascade. NOTE: YOU WILL WANT THIS MOMENT TO LAST FOREVER.
Step 8: Dry.
The End.
#PFHK
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